Nice French Desserts

by Timmy Vilgiate

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about

One day, I met this really cute girl at a research fair, and forgot her name twice before I finally figured it out after talking to her for about a week and a half. I then told her I had a crush on her, ran away, and about two weeks later we started dating. This album is dedicated to that girl. Her name is uhm...I think...uhm...Sophie or...something like that...? To be honest, I've really just been trying to figure out a chill way to mention that I forgot her name again. But she's really cool, whoever she is.

We still haven't gone out for any nice french desserts yet. That may sound like a double entendre, but actually, at the time, I just happened to think of chocolate croissants and macaroons as a really classy dessert date thing, and that's where that came from.

There's a small amount of adult language in this album, including such words as, "High", "Shit" and "Fuck", in that exact order. I decided it was time for my style to mature, so I figured I should start saying at least three bad words to every album.

If you've been listening for a while, then you know the last few albums were done on an iPhone. An iPhone? Wow Timmy, what a typical millennial, recording music on your iPhone. Well sorry folks, this album, you could say, is a lot more high tech. Not only did I record it on an iPad, but I "mastered it" (meaning I tried to make it louder) in Audacity.

I know what you're thinking. "Wow! This album is really edgy, and super cool." Right?! Seriously, I'm pretty impressed with myself. Outsourcing this whole thing to China really went well. But guess what else? It also has two songs in the exotic time signatures 5/4 and 6/8. That's why, if you look closely, I tagged myself as alternative twice in my bandcamp description. I'm not just alternative. I'm alternative alternative.

If you like this album, share it with your facebook friends. And, of course, your Twitterati, Pinterest-pals, Instagrammies, Slack colleagues, Tumblr followers, Reddit boards, 4chan flame wars, radical socialist Meetup groups, job search websites, Tindr matches, youtube comment sections, and pornhub subscribers.

credits

released December 23, 2016

Album art by Sophia Faraday
Instruments and Production by Timmy Vilgiate

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about

Timmy Vilgiate Colorado Springs, Colorado

"This is the kind of music that really makes you think, 'Ahh yes, a good example of some music.'"
-New York Times

"Lol sounds like it was recorded on an iPhone."
-Internet reviewer

"If this music were a person, your aunt and her book club friends would see it passing on the street and wrinkle their noses in silent condescension."
-Fake review made up by Timmy other ones are real.
... more

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Track Name: Call of the Void
the call of the void, she explained to me, sitting on the edge of a cliff, is when you look down and you think of jumping and you bite back against your impulse--that's all it is, the call of the void, reaffirming the will to go forward. and i thought, "every time i am challenged, hurt, invaded or threatened by you, and every time you are worried by or reminded of someone else by me, there is the choice to jump, but it is worth far more to press on."
Track Name: I'm a Frog (Explicit)
Maybe you were high then
The first time we met
Maybe you'd had a bad day
And it was all just in my head
Can't get enough proof
To believe you exist
Can't get enough truth
To realize I'm full of shit

Soon enough I know that I'll have to prove you wrong
Soon I know you'll look at me and you'll realize I'm a frog

And I think you need some medication
I think you need to find some help
Get yourself a strong prescription
And tell me you meant someone else,
Oh tell me you meant someone else,
Tell me you meant anyone else.

It's great you say you like me
But really are you okay?
Did you fall and hit your head or something?
Are you with the CIA?
And I like you a lot too,
I guess there's no need to say
But that's the scariest part of it
That your feeling the same way

Soon enough I know that I'll have to prove you wrong
Soon I know you'll look at me and you'll realize I'm a frog

And I think you need some medication
I think you need to find some help
Get yourself a strong prescription
And tell me you meant someone else,
Oh tell me you meant someone else,
Tell me you meant anyone else.
Track Name: Scenic Route
I wanna take the scenic route
Down to the end of town
And in some great castle's shadow,
I wanna watch your hair hang down
From no matter how far away
Somehow my hometowns still too loud
But together jump into the river,
Maybe escape the sound

Ooh, look we've been cut open
Under their looking glass
But by the time our flights are over
It will all be in the past
It'll be in the past.

I wrote the words before I knew
Or even saw the best of you
I wanna find a hideaway
Before the past it runs us through
If it catches up to us
I don't know what we will do
But maybe with a bit of holy water
The songs been born anew

Ooh, look we've been cut open
Under their looking glass
But by the time our flights are over
It will all be in the past
It'll be in the past.

So I wanna find a scenic route
That can shoot right past the clouds
I wanna breath them in
Taste your spirit and breath it out
From inside of my crystal coffin
Somehow I can't say it out loud
But I know that I dreamed about you,
Baby I just don't know...
Track Name: Nice French Desserts
How
Do you get to be,
So damn sweet
Even just unconsciously?
My missing piece, it's something
Loud
When you're next to me
A roaring blinding peace
A forest of dreams between,
Yes that's what you are, you're a
Dream
How else could it be,
An impossibility
I must be asleep inside a hospital,
I'm drunk out on a beach

But I love you, whoever the hell you are.

How
Am I supposed to speak
Secretly
When you're next to me,
I'm a goddamn creep, I'm too
Proud
To confess to you,
But the way you move
I didn't think I could hold it in
An untamed tongue will surely sin, I'm too
Loud
For a girl like her,
Who seems so damn mature,
She's got a damn caruhr
Me I'm not so sure, but I'll
Say
Eventually,
I've got a crush on her,
It's something more than words
Something more than words
I'll take that girl
Out for some
Nice French Desserts

(What?)

Cause I love her, whoever the hell she is.
Yes I love you, whoever the hell you are.
Track Name: Five Minutes Ago
Almost as much as your smile
I loved the shadows around it:
The curvature of your skull
Underneath your cheeks;
The reflections of sunlight,
Coming from your skin;
The glistening sweat
And the pulsing blood underneath.
The smile and its shadow,
Holding one another
In a solemn repose,
So that when you smiled,
It seemed instead you spoke.

Five minutes ago
I saw you for the first time
And that was all I needed
All I needed to decide
I told myself you'd go and disappear,
It'd be the last time I'd ever see you here
And I still remembered your smile
But by night time I'd forgotten your name

I've got a dozen unfinished love songs just for you
I've got at least a hundred stories I could end with you
I've got a hundred thousand seconds I could spend with you
If only I remembered your name, if only I remembered your name

One week after that
You stopped by and said hello
I thought you looked familiar
And I tried to remember who you were
Soon enough it all came back
And I realized we'd already met
I asked for your name again
And you told me
But somehow I still forgot

I've got a dozen unfinished love songs just for you
I've got at least a hundred stories I could end with you
I've got a hundred thousand seconds I could spend with you
If only I remembered your name, if only I remembered your name

The next week I was heading to class
I was just a little bit high
I saw you there on the couch
And I couldn't let you pass me by
We talked the whole week through
I realized that you could be the one
I loved every single thing that you said to me
But no, I didn't know your name.

But no, I didn't know your name
No, I didn't know your name
I didn't know your name
I didn't know your name
If only I remembered your name.
Track Name: Heavenly Blue
Heavenly blue,
Stare at the ceiling and it's staring at you
Stomach still shaking,
I'm still waiting for you
Down in the gardens and
Up on the moon
Hope for the harvest and
If it's too soon
The nighttime paints you grey and white and
Heavenly blue

I see the cracks in its armor
I see the faults in my own
I see the specks in your eyelids
And my own logs overgrown

Heavenly blue,
Ripped out the pages and I threw them to you
Dancing like angels and
Up to the moon,
Swept up these skeletons and I
Dreamed about you
Climbing up mountains and
Dancing a tune
All of the cities painted grey and white and
Heavenly blue

I see the cracks in its armor
I see the faults in my own
I see the specks in your eyelids
And my own logs overgrown

Heavenly blue
Down in the gardens and up on the moon
Hope for the harvest and if it's too soon
All of the cities painted grey and white and
Heavenly blue
Track Name: She Spoke/The New World
She spoke
A single word
And all the poems
That I stumbled to articulate
Came loose
Like a landslide.

She spoke,
Parted her lips and
All of my vocabulary lessons
From AP English,
All of my attempts to piece together
A poem, or something close
Seemed senseless
In comparison.

She spoke,
And how clearly,
How cogently she did so,
Profound as oceans
And clear as a highway at two AM,
Yet would never call herself a poet.

In this boat
Handsome and oaken
Curved like tears
Or open hands,
Only myself
And you alone
Can fit. (Though perhaps
Your cat can come as well
If she is so inclined.)
Setting oars to ocean
To chart the islands of our minds,
From these crumpled coasts
Where we lived in bondage.
Sing to me your dreams
Of the coming voyage,
Remember these in your reveries,
And diaries and poems,
How we paddled to the summer's edge
Until we stumbled onto dry land,
The faces and dangers and treasures,
Of undiscovered continents.
I promised you as the beaches loomed,
And the voyage seemed to near its end
I loved you on the sea,
I will love you in the New World.
Track Name: No One Else
I just wanna talk to you
And no one else
I just wanna leave these fears
Up on their shelf
Hear about what's running through your head
Listen to your stories hold your hand
I just wanna talk to you
No, no one else
Not a single soul around
All by ourselves
Forget about what happened to our friends,
Enemies, professors and the rest

I wanna give my best to you

I just wanna walk with you
No one else
I just wanna walk with you
Even by myself
Hold you in my heart when you're far away
Dream of you even when I'm still awake
I just wanna walk with you
Screw everyone else
I just wanna break away
And by myself
Any other way would be a waste
You and me far off in our hiding place

I wanna give my best to you
Track Name: Firecloud
If I ever had a time
For a poem
It was now,
That I sit on my porch step,
Watching the last year
Roll by me like an avalanche,
And though I know I'm blinded
I still see those mushroom clouds
On the back of my eyelids,
Overturning boats
And uprooting islands.
I remember the bomb,
And how it made acquaintances
Best friends,
And how hastily it made me speak,
To promise life
When really
I was only hanging on
To the same lifeboat.
Everything seemed petty
After the bomb,
And so it was: petty.
Our landfall,
When we became enemies,
And they took their things
And departed me.
Here I see it burning,
An almighty firecloud,
Swinging wide the gates and
Stupefying suburbs,
A sideways tsunami,
Turning over and over and
Igniting with the propensities of dust,
Toying with the windchimes
Inside of my windows, telling me
Stories about itself
Along the shapes I made for it,
Drifting between the lines and
Bleeding across the containers I had constructed
Its first kiss; ecstatic disaster,
The rain cuts through and I run for the exit.

I want to love,
With all the pain and poetry
That I have left
In my bloodstream.
I want to love her
As a desert and a sandstorm
And a monster
Simultaneously.
I want to love her
In a world without emotion,
On the dissection slides
And cable ties of her memory
I want to love her
Inside of every sinking ship
Across every single ocean
That I've ever died in.
I want to love her
In all of my secret compartments
In my darket hours, and
To know
Why,
But from here within
These poems,
United in trembling like worms digging out from in me
A thousand proverbs
Written in tongues
From the scraps of an odyssey,
All of the frightened devils
Uprooted in exodus
And discarded, and I scream to myself
"How did these arrows get through to you?"
All of these daggers,
And knives,
And harpoons,
Past your miles of trenches,
Stone walls and secret defenses
To wound you?
Or else was the wrath of God
Self-inflicted surgery,
Trying to mend our perfect forms,
Immunities and resistances
To the magic of being born.
These clothes sewn together still seem to be torn.

I hope she knows
When she touches me
She's getting blood all over
Opening up and unsettling
Wounds and cuts
Each totally invisible
Running over me and
Taking me under,
Breaking down a thousand
Of my fences and my delusions
Like a phantom planet
Taking away my atmosphere.
I hope she knows that
When I love her,
I do so
Impossibly with
A thousand words and warnings
Flashing on my screen.
Even as I long for her,
I dread with horror that she will become
Another layer of scar tissue, another name
That I can't stop saying,
Another topic of conversation
For my family to avoid.
And I hope she knows that
She is the most beautiful thing
I have ever seen or felt or
Imagined or dreamed of,
And she is a waking angel.
She looks like she wants to devour me,
She comes down in clouds
Like an infinite storm
And tells me I'm a person,
And surrounds and
Plays the windchimes hanging from my windows
I wish she could see
What these poems look like
Before they turn into words,
Like hurricanes made of solid stone
Like explosions ten stories underwater,
The pictures I want to paint
Behind the simplicity of
Even pronouns, the meaning of
You, I, verbs like hold or kiss or be,
In conjunction and/or/but
Really, written down to keep my sanity
Since survival got the best of me
My halloweens; birthdays and anniversaries,
Days and seconds I remember,
But know everyone else forgot.
I bet she thinks I'm too practiced
But I'm not.
Track Name: What are you doing tonight? (Explicit)
Spread through my lungs
Swept like cyanide,
Almond arms,
Candle-karmic,
Dripping with saccharine,
Venomous penance,
Aloof without sacrifice,
Peeling apart answers
And casting animals out of trainwrecks
Hoping for lottery white riches raining down on me
Bought but not sold to no empire's destiny,
Holding out emptiness underneath the rain from your balcony
Hold on to me dear,
Or at least what they've left of me.
The price of our freedom, our youth,
The price of our youth likewise,
In the end we are left clamoring
For any piece of their bread,
Working out limericks and lyrics
To burn for the winter, our faces turning red
From our drunkeness,
Embarrassment.

I wanna grow old with you
Never cold with you
Never run through the rat race
Suburban circuit strip malls with you
Never hold like you're just a thing to lose,
Burn this new atomic energy
Lurking in the depths of this poetry,
Collide bricks of buildings and split gluons
Folding energy into energy
Love you like antimatter,
Collide and clash and fold together,
New universes
Make love like proton bombardment
Cascade into isotopes and ashes
I wanna go nuclear,
I wanna be radicalized
I wanna be negotiated with
On behalf of public tranquility
Or else I don't wanna be woke up
What's the point of seeing our problems
If we never give a fuck?

I don't wanna bend it,
I wanna break it,
Break past all numbness
Bone muted complacence,
I wanna break past cold fusion
And see the dawn from new angles,
Holy war cultural arson,
Make war against pavements,
Fuck being civilized,
I didn't survive this long,
To be polite to the cannibal and their creation,
I didn't wait this long
To be stuck with myself again
I didn't fight this hard
To be lost in my head again,
Wanting nothing more than to be spared all these pleasantries
I want to break free and then break free from freedom
I want to come loose and then be tied
I wanna know...
What are you doing tonight?
Track Name: Stone Forest
The halls and hallowed branches
Of the stone forest
Near the mountains edge,
Trails over trains,
And turns over turns,
I bless with a kiss
And walk away,
Wishing there were other
Shapes or faces here,
Invading my perceptions,
Praying you'd leave
As gone as you already are,
This face of a cemetery,
Walking and mumbling inchoate
Parables about the past,

I long to be free of you,
To turn away and no longer
Wish I had one last word,
To believe I am no longer bleeding
From when I cut myself
In front of you
To no longer see myself
As your
Sacrificial lamb,
To burn your forest to the ground
But it's made of stone.
I long to hate you,
But I pity you too deeply.
I long to plant a new forest,
But there's no room to grow
If I let you suffocate my gardens
As they enter ground.

I utter new prayers
To the darkness you left
In my absence;
I shed new colors
In regress to the places
That we treaded.
I paint your forest
Gold and titanium white
And sapphire.
I only want you once
To look at me
And see how far away
I am
From the ghost
You remember.
Track Name: Symphony, Eventually
I knew I'd meet you,
Somehow, a glimpse into your eyes,
The catch of your teeth
The wrinkles in your cheeks,
Reminded me of dancing with you
In a dream I'd had,
And I loved you,
In defiance
Of my other instincts
Which warned me
Of hidden danger;
I, by no means, suspected
Instant gratification,
And by no means did I
Imagine folly or
Half the joy you would bring me,
Only did I know
That I had danced with you
That you were worth the time
It would take
To learn to dance with you,
And only that I would fall in love,
Quite recklessly.

I wanna look back,
Tell stories about today,
Pick up all our pieces,
Hear what they all have to say,
I wanna hold on
And I hope your here to stay
I can't find the end of you
And I can't find your starting place

Would you play that melody,
That song that took a part of me?
Bring me into harmony
With whatever we're meant to be
And I will write you a symphony
Maybe, probably, eventually,
Try and find some harmony
With whatever we're meant to be

And if I die
Than what have I lost
In gaining what I have gained,
Or gained
In losing what I have lost?
And if not gained or lost,
Then what is death, but the balance
To the equation,
Birth plus x to the power of
Decision, minus perception,
Death, then, being the root
Of decision,
The inverse of our perception,
What I have I gained or lost but
Balance.
w
I wanna know you
In every single place
That I spent looking for you
That I tried to save the day
Living in our stormfront
As the clouds all turn to fray
Come inside and talk to me
And lets blow these storms away

Would you play that melody,
That song that took a part of me?
Bring me into harmony
With whatever we're meant to be
And I will write you a symphony
Maybe, probably, eventually,
Try and find some harmony
With whatever we're meant to be.

Take me back to the place that I was born
Realign this heart, oh so long it has been torn
Can we take a chance, never give the past a second glance,
Remember how we were before? Oh that was gone so fast.

Would you play that melody,
That song that took a part of me?
Bring me into harmony
With whatever we're meant to be
And I will write you a symphony
Maybe, probably, eventually,
Try and find some harmony
With whatever we're meant to be
Track Name: Rest
We climbed the hill up behind the camp
To start a fire and to rest our heads
We knelt together into the darkness
Sharing stories and breaking bread
And I was hanging on to every word
Thinking how did I become so blessed?
Even when we start to feel unsteady,
I will always give my best

And don't you worry, don't you ever think,
That you're alone in the fight ahead
Cause you know I'd hold you all night long
If it meant that you could get some rest.

All of the battles that we fight at present
They will soon be in the past;
All the machines that they've built to kill us
They will soon run out of gas.
We'll be standing even through the night time
When the world has done its best.
Even if Donald Trump becomes president
We will still have each other's backs.

And don't you worry, don't you ever think,
That you're alone in the fight ahead
Cause you know I'd hold you all night long
If it meant that you could get some rest.
Track Name: Angel Wings
Darling will you wait for me?
Burn your midnight gasoline,
Steady just like dramamine,
I swear that I'll be there.
Waiting in my dreams to see
You coming down with angel wings,
Tell me all your secret things,
Tell me what you want

Tell me what you want

Your breaths are all like poetry
Your kiss just like a song
You've become a part of me
Nothing could go wrong.
Tell me when we're eighty-three,
Will you still love what's left of me?
Spread your shining angel wings,
Rising like the dawn.

Tell me what you want.